Shackleton: Bonfire

The Camping / Scrambling Debate 

The 8th day into the Shackleton expedition probably constituted one of the those times that really forced me to think hard our previous 8 days, and one of the things that I was challenged to review was the act of standing my ground, and standing our ground as a team.

The 8th day was rather a interesting experience for me. Our initial plan for the evening was to kayak over to a nearby island where we would hold a bonfire and camp for the night, returning to the schooner the next morning. The Captain recommended that the next day, we could scramble up onto Moon Rock, but if we wanted to do so, we'd have to wake up early to leave the lagoon in time. 

I can't remember how exactly it started, but this ended up with a debate and taking a vote, for those who wanted to camp only, scramble only or do both. There was a big debate and with strong perspectives arguing for each choice. Most of those who wanted to camp only wanted to stick to our original plan to camp, and did not want to wake up at 4 in the morning to kayak and then scramble. Most of those who wished to scramble only didn't want to camp at the beach, quoting the Captain's words on the number of sandflies if camping on the beach, though they wanted to have the bonfire. The remaining others including myself, voted to do both, for reasons which I'll explain later.

In the midst of our very heated discussion, one of our teacher mentors with us raised a very intriguing question, a thought that I have had at the back of my mind. The question was;

How willing would you be 

to change your plans to adjust 

to suit other people's plans and opinions? 

This episode in the expedition challenged our (or at least my) sense of self and groundedness. Was this not a leadership expedition, and are leaders not supposed to have a  strong sense of direction and a strong sense of self? Why were we so easily swayed by other people's opinions and why did we let other people throw us off the path that we were initially determined to embark on? 

It could have been our experience with the working with the Captain on board for 8 days, or perhaps it really was our Pirates Of The Carribean-influenced perception of how the Captain has complete power, knowledge and infinite wisdom. But whatever the cause, the fact of that all, or at least most of us, were swayed to change our plans because of someone else (even if just for a minute), despite the fact that we planned and prepared for camping, bringing the tents and camping gear. 

It was only later on at the bonfire that night, that I finally understood what the Shackleton Expedition meant (or at least what it meant for me). 

(A little bit late to realize my purpose there, being already 8 days into the journey, but it's never too late). Before that night, I quite honestly had my doubts about whether the expedition was challenging me enough, because unlike GPS and Seribuat, I didn't feel the same feeling of being pushed out of my comfort zone, thinking that it would have been even more trying than our previous sea expeditions. 

During our discussion at the bonfire, I came to the realization that the Shackleton expedition had hit me in such a different way from other expeditions like GPS and kayaking. Unlike those instances, I realized that Shackleton, being a leadership expedition, was actually presenting us with a challenge that we didn't recognize, because we weren't explicitly told or directly presented with the challenge to say: "Hi, welcome to Shackleton, where the aim is to... and where you will be doing... and after which you will all return feeling...". As mentioned in my third post, I began to think about other things like spontaneity and initiative. Do I, whether I am a leader or not, need to be told where to go and what to do, and what outcomes I shall leave with? Do I merely follow any figure of authority forgetting about what I really wanted to do and the path that I wanted to follow? Do I really need to wait for someone to push me before I go for it? 

All these questions came to mind that evening, and it was then when I realized that to me, the Shackleton Expedition could be summed up in 1 famous phrase, from William Ernest Henley's poem Invictus: 

I am the Captain of my Soul.

Throughout the expedition, I kept asking myself what the expedition was really about, and finally I came to realize that it was for us to define it. Before then, I was having my doubts about the expedition, feeling that it wasn't stretching me, and that it wasn't as intense as I thought it would be. But then I finally understood that it was my responsibility to make it as intense as I wanted it to be. Shackleton really made me become very aware of just how much of a voice each and every one of us has (but does not utilize). It taught me the importance of creating my own experiences and my own opportunities, and to be in charge of my learning, helming my own life. It also taught me about staying grounded and standing up for what I truly believe in, even if it's hard or unpopular.